Nuts or Not
Some times you feel like a nut. Some times you don't. Almond Joys have nuts. Mounds don't. Some times you feel like a nut. Some times you don't.
I like Almond Joys. I don't like Mounds. The weird thing is that I don't like the nuts on Almond Joys. One would think then that I would like Mounds...but I don't. Guess you could say I'm a little bit...nuts. For the past several days, I've felt considerably nutty. Doing anything other than getting out of bed is a chore. Sitting down and writing an even bigger chore. Why is it that sometimes it's easier to stay in bed with the covers pulled over our head, than to get up and face the world?
I would hate to say that I've been depressed because that wouldn't be an accurate description. The more honest assessment would be that I just haven't felt...anything. I'm a pretty caring person and so to feel nothing seems odd to me. How is one supposed to handle these moments of apathy?
That question has been rattling around in my brain for the past couple of days. If I would have had an Almond Joy, I probably would have made short work of it (spitting the nuts out of course). Lacking that fix, I turned to the scriptures this morning for a bit of inspiration and what I read made me realize that sometimes we all feel this way. We get tired of caring for the world or even for ourselves. Often there doesn't seem to be the payoff we hope for and after a while, we get tired of trying. Why keep fighting battles or caring for others or ourselves, when we don't see any results? It can make even the most determined of us feel a little nutty.
This morning I read in Galations the "fix" for my apathy. So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. I'm beginning to wonder if the payoff isn't directly related to the amount of discouragement or apathy we have to overcome. On those nutty days where we would like to pull the covers over our head and be done with it, maybe the best medicine isn't Paxil at all but rather consistency. Maybe to see the payoff, we have to get up, get dressed and carry on...even when we don't feel like it. I wonder if by allowing ourselves to bath in our nutty moments, we aren't cutting into the reward promised.
Sometimes it is good to remember that there will be a payoff and that payoff will come when the time is right. I'm very American in my timing. I want it and I want it RIGHT NOW! And when it doesn't happen RIGHT NOW then phoey on it. Then I read in James that I shouldn't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
I guess on those days when I'm feeling nutty, I should remember that since the Creator hasn't given up on me why should I? Whatever it is that causes me to feel nutty, it will pass and when it does, I will be a stronger, healthier individual. Which just might be more than I would be if I laid in bed and ate Almond Joys all day. Nutty is alright! As long as I remember that it isn't where I'm supposed to live and it's prepping me for the real treat...a stronger, healthier me.