Sleeve Notes 101: "I tried on your glasses...

Monday, September 19, 2005

"I tried on your glasses...

...and I was blind!"

Monday mornings can be so much fun! Especially after a birthday weekend when the amount of sugar one takes in is disproportiantly high. As such, getting out of bed for me was just a chore; maybe even more of a chore than usual. As I dragged myself into the bathroom and was greated by toothpast oozing out of it's container and a 7 year-old asking me to examine his "pearly whites", I was a little concerned that I wasn't up for the task. As I put the top on the toothpaste, and attempted to wipe the sleep from my eyes, I heard Paris say "I tried on your glasses and I was blind!"

As he described trying to walk around the bathroom with my glasses on, I began to think about relationships, specifically what other people think my relationships should look like. People are really good about sharing how they think our lives should look. "If you'll measure your relationship based on my set of ideas, you can expect that you will be successful." We see that on TV with Dr. Phil telling us how to get our shit together. A look through the phone book for a list of self-help guru's is enough to drive one mad. Everyone has a prescription for how our lives and our relationships should look like.

My own relationship is fodder for much conversation, I feel quite certain. We are wildly different people. I run around like a Chinchilla on speed. I need everyone to be in a hurry! Always a whirl wind follows me. My better half puts the brakes on when confronted by my incessant demands to hurry. I could probably spend the better part of the day listing all of our differences and why our relationship should not least according to some. There have been times when I've thought, "golly, maybe the naysayers are right, maybe we really are just too different." Despite all of our differences, we are best friends! We have become counter-balances to each other's extremes.

Defined through the lense of others, our relationship might be considered a failure. But there is a problem with looking through prescriptions designed for someone else's poor eye sight. By wearing someone else's prescription, one is left with, at best, a slight headache and, at worst, blindness (temporary of course). I've seen countless relationships broken up because of well meaning advice that didn't take into consideration the people in question.

I'm finding that by building a relationship that works for us, as opposed to one that works for someone else, we are building something that is solid. I refuse to wear someone else's glasses when it comes to my relationships, and that includes my relationship with God, my relationship with my partner, my relationship with my family and with my friends! What works for you may not work for me! It's an important lesson to learn that not everything should be viewed using the lenses your grandmother wore. Sometimes one needs their own prescription!



Blogger Professor Snoutch said...

Go Jon! That's the strongest I feel you've ever been towards this subject. I'm proud that you stick to your guns, even when a familiar is shooting at you. Nice analogy too. Have a great day!

10:21 AM  

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